Miss F's daycare makes a big deal about 'move ups'. When the kids go to the next classroom, new teacher, etc. The classroom assignments came out yesterday and as word spread around it has become apparant that Miss F is not with the majority of her friends from class. Further inspection finds her placed with kids younger than her, ones essentially still in the infant house. So, for whatever reason, it feels like Miss F is being 'held back'. For months the moms have talked about move ups and pondered over margaritas and fish tacos at a local eatery on placements and hoping we'd all move up together. The random use of 'smart' class, knowing kids are placed by a variety of factors but ability being the big one, made it stressful. And then, in one letter, everything changes.
Miss F is pottytraining herself, speaks in 2-3 word 'sentences', knows her colors and numbers to 10 and where her heart, ankle and elbow reside (and can say it, too). I see a smart, funny, bright girl and for the first time, I have to realize that someone else may not see the perfect I see. That factors like her temperment and her issues with space and her desire to be more individual than part of a group can affect things like placement in daycare class and that, socially, she may be a bit (or a lot) behind her peers.
And I know in the grand scheme of everythign in the world, this is nothing. A blip. Most people wouldn't make a big deal but it is, as the title of this blog suggests, the first cut. The first time a mirror is held up and perhaps you don't see there what you see in your mind.
So, of course, I called the daycare. And then I became the one thing I never wanted to become. "That mom". The one who calls, the one who thinks her child is smarter or faster or better, the one who teachers roll their eyes at. And yes, I heard the deep sigh and knew that the woman was thinking that about me. So then I hate myself for doing it but I wanted to know 'why'. I didn't get an answer--I got the typical educational circle-speak that I am so guilty of using myself. Why was my child placed differently than 90% of the class she is with. Why lower aged kids? Why? Why? Why?
I am sure Miss F will be happy and fine where she has been placed. I know, deep down, that she wasn't placed in a lower class maliciously. But it is humbling. It's embarassing to tell the other parents and see the looks. And it breaks your heart a bit. It hurts.
4 comments:
Oh, I'm sorry she didn't get put where you wanted her too, that stinks. Maybe you can reframe it though? Think of it as an opportunity for her to become a leader, teach other kids, learn to be a big helper. She might really thrive in this new environment. Keep us posted.
PREACH IT DANIELLE!!!! (not sure of which friend that is but she says it PERFECTLY!!)
Look on the bright side... at this age, Flinn has no idea about the politics of class assignments so she will continue to do as she does! I think Flinn is great and smart! Maybe she will be on Broadway not an engineer! No big deal! Maybe she will be an engineer and change the way everyone else looks at things!!!!
Chin high! Chin high!
Gee, that's kind of weird, because just the other day I was thinking how much farther along Miss F is developmentally than my twin goddaughters, who were only born 2 months after her. Also, the son of another friend of mine didn't get the hang of potty-training until he was well into his second year, whereas it seems to me Miss F is master and commander of the Porcelain Throne well ahead of her second birthday. She'll "catch up", and most likely charge far ahead those in her class. She is her mother's child, after all.
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