My life in a nutshell (or the nut house)

This week has been crazy. Thank god for my mom. She's been here all week helping out with Miss F who is a cruisin' and a movin' and a teethin' and now is shooting green gunk out of her eyeball and nose (we have a Dr. appt today). She is learning in leaps and bounds at her new daycare. She is eating real food, drinking from a mix of bottle-sippy-straw and is finally, sometimes, saying "maaa-ma". She acts like it's really hard to say, drawing it out, sort of like the girl in "Dances With Wolves" when she says "John Dun-baaaaar"

My life is not that of a 10.5 month old. I'm definitely having one of those "Stop the World I Want to Get Off" weeks. Of course, on the eve before my Girls Weekend road trip my car has a 'low tire' sensor going off. I had to drive Mr. B's no-gas-gauge-no-ABS-brakes rattle trap to work. I was 15 minutes late, naturally.

And to truly know why my week has been crap (literally), read on only if you're a fan of TMI and want to know about my intestines. You must have an iron stomach and really, if you're going to wonder why I posted this information--DON'T READ IT (we'll get to censorship and choice of reading materials later this month during Banned Book Week)

Are you sure?

Are you ready?

On Tuesday I had to have a colonoscopy. While the procedure was nothing (I was totally out), the 'cleasning' process the day before took a toll on me. I ended up passing out in my hallway while trying to get to my mom (isn't it amazing the relationship daughters have with their moms, I can't wait 'til Miss F has a colonoscopy and passes out in the hallway trying to get to me). I have a giant bruise on my cheek (which makes me look like i have great cheek bones, BTW), my elbow and my knee causing a bit of an Igor limp. Good times in the B household.

I have been diagnosed with colitis. If you don't know what is is, look it up, google it, etc. It's not fun but I refuse to be embarassed about it. I hate when things get a stigma put upon them. There's nothing I can do about it, I didn't get it because I had impure thoughts once in awhile or was mean to my sister in 1984(at least I'm pretty sure that's not the cause of this). So, I have colitis. I'll probably always have colitis. I might have 'quiet' periods but then I'll have 'flare ups', too. I'm currently on 'roids (yeah--hair growth, weight gain but if I'd start pumping iron I'll look like Mrs. World 2006), on some other meds and on a crappy (ha-ha, pun intended) diet of no fiber and processed foods. It's the junk food junkie diet. No fruit. No raw veggies. No whole wheat. I can eat mashed potatoes and Wonder Bread to my hearts content.

I have the photos from my procedure. I didn't think it was a good idea to upload them. If you're interested, I can get you a copy.

So....add colonoscopy, diagnosis of crappy disease, flat tire, sick kid, husband gone and you have what Alexander would call a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day or week.

Don't say I didn't warn you not read this if you don't have an iron stomach. And now I leave you with one of my favorite misheard lyrics. Who knew it would become my theme song--A Girl With Colitis Goes By.....